psalm 5:7-10

⁷ Because of your unfailing love, I can enter your house;
      I will worship at your Temple with deepest awe.
 ⁸ Lead me in the right path, O Lord,
      or my enemies will conquer me.
   Make your way plain for me to follow.
 ⁹ My enemies cannot speak a truthful word.
      Their deepest desire is to destroy others.
   Their talk is foul, like the stench from an open grave.
      Their tongues are filled with flattery.^[a]
 10 O God, declare them guilty.
      Let them be caught in their own traps.
   Drive them away because of their many sins,
      for they have rebelled against you.

Night time reflections.

Last night in the comfort of my own sofa I was reflecting on the last time I had a decent night sleep. Truth be told I actually can't remember and I started to contemplate why. Then I asked the question, when was the last time I went to bed with my head clear? Again I can't remember. The next question was, when was the last time I went to bed and the last thing I think of is God. The answer is never. I've realised that I've spent so much time focusing on other people and other things around me, and not on the big picture. So last night when I tried to keep cool in my hideously warm bedroom I chatted to God and that is the last thing I remember. Talking to God, telling him my thoughts, praying for those in my life, praying that people would be saved etc. Although I didn't sleep great, It was a refreshing feeling knowing that I had fallen asleep with all of my troubles off of my chest and it was all in Gods hands. 

Keeping my mouth shut is getting harder.

Anger isn't pretty. I've been feeling a LOT of it lately. It's always difficult when you realise that you never meant anything to those you considered your closest friends. Among all the other mini dramas that keep appearing every otherday. I know it's all apart of growing up and learning and becoming a stronger person with more insight and maturity etc but it's very difficult to cope with. If things happened in small doses it'd be easier, but all at once is just unbearable.  Although I'm having a difficult time right now but I know God is with me. I know I've got loyal family members and friends around me. 

Colour.

(This is very much inspired by Dave Betts take on glass buckets, click here to check it out)

I've been thinking a lot lately about colour. Seeing as I'm studying photography and partly art colour is a major contributor to what type of mood your trying to reflect. For example cool colours such as blues and purples represent coldness, or calm, often sadness. Then there are warmer colours such as yellows and oranges and reds that represents excitment, a lighter mood but sometimes danger. 

I've also been thinking (For an upcoming photoshoot) on complimentary colours. Red & green, yellow & purple, orange & blue or even black and white. With warm vibrancy and amazing happiness also comes the calm collected or sad moods. It reminded me somewhat of Religion and my relationship with God. Yellow and purple reminds me of when great things happen and I'm incredibly happy but his provided the contentment thats allowed the yellow to burst through.  Then other times it can be full of anger towards God for things that aren't his fault at all, so the relationship is red, but then there is the calm green neutral feeling that he surrounds me with to help me see sense and remain as calm as possible, allowing the red to be less dangerous and over powering.

So although artists look at the complimentary colours to use in their art, or we look at colours that go well with our outfit, we should really be thinking of the complimentary colour that God has provided in your current situation. 

He saved

Hate pages? Really.

So, casually scrolling through facebook and I see a friend write a comment about a hate page about someone that was made about his friend. I don't even know this girl but it really got my knickers in a twist. I mean, how low can a person go to actually create a hate page about this girl? 

I don't understand why it's relevant. You may not like a person, but it doesn't mean you have to
1) Publicly embarrass the person to the world.
2) Make a comment about that person in general

It just goes to show how immature people are. Its things like this which really make me as what on earth is wrong with people? How far will a person go to make another human being feel so isolated and humiliated that they don't know where to go? 

I'm aware this isn't a long post but I just felt something needed to be said. It's pathetic and wrong. I just ask those reading to send your prayers to those who suffer this kind of bullying. It's completely wrong and unfortunately it's difficult to stop. 

Insecurities.

This week I've been dog sitting for my cousin, which includes living on my own for a week. It's given me a lot of time to chat to God and reflect on my relationship with him. I was thinking about the latest next step meetings where we spoke about queries we have in our relationship with God. A subject that came up was Insecurities. 

Insecurity and self conciousness is something that everybody Christian or non-christian deals goes through. Be it through your height, weight, eye colour, hair colour, the clothes you wear, how you act around others. I think it's something that only an individual can sort out. Only the person can feel comfortable in their own skin. It really angers me when people compare themselves to people on the tv in magazines, complaining that they don't look the same. There are things that we can do to stop ourselves feeling uncomfortable in ourselves. 

We need to remember that the longer we spend looking in the mirror and hating what we see is time that we can't get back. If you think your fat when actually your a size 8, then thats just a perception of how you see yourself. If you feel that your personality is abit eccentric, thats a part of who you are, you shouldn't have to change to see others, but thats moving onto a different topic. 

What I'm trying to say is insecurity is a horrible thing to have. Everyone suffers from it, but remember there are people out there that love you excactly how you are. So whenever you feel down about yourself, think of one person that loves you for exactly that. Remember that your height is something that you've been given so use it to your advantage, find your talents and remember that feeling insecure is wasting time you'll never get back. It wont be easy, but it is sure better than worrying.