“Unfortunately we often get praise for things that weren’t particularly difficult to achieve. If we focus on the props and encouragement of those who have low expectations for us, we become mediocre. It can be challenging to set our sights on excellence, particularly when we’re hearing that we’re already there. One of life’s greatest lessons, which we all must learn, could be expressed in the phrase “That was nothing. Watch this.” Challenge yourself and others to call the normal things normal and save that word excellent for things that really are.”

Alex Harris

Walking Prayers

There was a time where my Ipod went everywhere with me, even if I was walking 5 minutes down the road I'd be accompanied by music. I would sit there in lesson with one headphone in listening to calm music to keep me motivated. However lately I've been taking up the challenge of walking places without my Ipod. Now for most teenagers this would be like breaking some sort of unwritten law for youth. Before I would be horrified at the thought of walking lonesome into public without the company of my music. 

 

Then came that dreaded day where it was left at home. I took the time out and just listened to my surroundings, admittedly it can become quite boring listening to the same mundane sounds on a day-to-day basis, but then I started to have conversations with God. Just chatting to him about my day, and thanking him for all his done the casual prayer routine. I find it quite refreshing just talking to God and letting him know what's on my mind and asking for strength when I feel the day is going to be rough.  

I just want to encourage those who are reading this to take time out of your daily walks to school or work or college and just talk to God. Tell him what's on your heart, it's so much more delightful than the awful ringing in your ears that you get after listening to your music too loud for far too long.

Last night was wonderful. I love Church

Daydreaming is the best.

When I'm older and have my lovely house. I can see myself having a room full of books and photo albums on shelves that cover floor to ceiling. 

The only thing that'd make it better is a huge comfy chairs and some sort of hot chocolate machine [as we all know I don't drink coffee at all] 

Daydreaming is fun. 

Psalm 50 vs 1

So at the life prayer meeting last night we were praying away and God playing his usual tricks put the number 50 into my head. Now I still at this point have no idea what it means. What the relevance of this number was, I prayed into and turned to psalm 50 and this first verse really stood out to me. I still don't have a clue what this means. Whether it was meant for me personally. Whether it was meant for LIFE as we where praying for LIFE, or if it was for someone I know. I'm still praying about it, and I'm still trying to figure out it's meaning. But I thought I would post it, and if this reaches or speaks out to anyone, I'd love to hear from you. 

¹ The Mighty One, God, the LORD, 

   speaks and summons the earth 

   from the rising of the sun to where it sets.

Psalm 50 vs 1 NIV

Overwhelmed

At the moment, most people I know are sending off their Uni applications, getting ready for interviews, deciding where to go, when to go what courses they are going to do Etc.

I too, are trying to figure out what to  do in September. I've found myself overwhelmed with pressure, not just to go to Uni, but when to go, whether I should go next year instead of taking a gap year. Whether I should go somewhere closer to home or somewhere far away. Whether Uni is a good or bad idea. What to put in my personal statement.

I've found that it's one of the most difficult positions I've ever found myself in. Deciding at the age of 17 what to do with my future, where my life is going, where I'm going to spend 3 years of my life and deciding my career so young seems such a big decision.  But what I've found even more difficult is the overwhelming pressure from family and tutors at college about what to do. They all say "you should do what's best for you" or "Do what you feel is going to benefit you most" 

Then they keep banging on at me about what they think I should do, what they think is best for me, and making me feel like crap for not doing what they want. 

Surely this whole process should be what I want to do? I'm so confused 

Dale Farm Evictions

So we've all heard the headlines of Dale Farm evictions dominating the media and news. Like most others, I was watching the scenes unfold for the most part of the day, and the things that were aired was unreal. 

Firstly, most of the trouble that has been caused is by protestors, they've been creating half of the trouble and are 90% of the reason why the police have had to get heavy handed. I think it's incredibly unfair that people are complaining that the police have been unfair and brutal, when, they're fighting back and getting violent towards them, so the police have to react, it's as simple as that. 

Secondly, I do feel for the travelers, I think it's unfair that they haven't been given anywhere to go after living somewhere for 10 years, however, if they knew the land was illegal why stay there? It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from, or your culture, if you're on an illegal plot of land you have to go, it's a simple as that. Why it's taken 10 years is beyond me, and I do think they should be given a place to stay, after all they are still humans. 

It is such a horrific event to unfold for all people that are involved, but I don't think people chaining themselves  to scaffolding, locking themselves onto buildings isn't helping their cause. All they've been talking about is going peacefully, yet they put themselves in danger constantly and continue to shout abuse at the police? Although it's an awful thing to occur, the whole situation could have easily been avoided. 

Technology gets in the way.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how much technology has taken over our lives.
Sitting down listening to the preach at LIFE on Friday, I took a look round and saw some young girls glued to their phone. There was an awesome speech going on about stereotypes, and these girls did not take their eyes off their phones, and what's worse is they were blackberry messaging each other, whilst sat not even a meter apart. 

It got me thinking, firstly why on earth aren't you listening to an awesome preach?!, Secondly, why on earth couldn't they just lean over and whisper to each other what they wanted to say, or wait until the preach was over? Have we become so addicted to our phones and texting that we can't even have a conversation with anyone face to face anymore? That we're so afraid to say what's on our hearts that we just wait until we're away from that person on our phones or hiding behind a computer screen instant messaging people. 

It's so tempting to find our phones and text someone constantly, but I want to encourage people to have face on conversations, and put down our phones once in a while and take in what's going on around us. To have face on conversations with people, so words don't get twisted in the wrong way. After all we've been giving a tongue to talk, we might as well use it. 

What if Jesus was to walk the earth again?

If Jesus was to once again walk the earth, and he came knocking upon your door. What would you & him talk about? What would I talk about? What would he think of the current state of the World? Would he perform miracles for people? Would he heal the sick with a touch? 

Who are the kind of people he would meet with? Would he meet with the homeless and give them hope? Or would he dine with the rich? 

Would he end the wars, would he calm all the storms?

If Jesus once again walked the earth I'd be face down on the floor crying at his feet. 

Nothing Compares To This Love

I, find myself here on my knees again
Caught Up In Grace Like An Avalanche, 

Nothing Compares To This Love

Love Love, 

Burning In My Heart. 

You are far too good for me,
I'm so lucky.

I've got a long way to go yet

Wanting To Pour Your Heart Out,

But not knowing how, or what to say, or how it will effect those around you

I'm struggling through

But I'm getting there, slowly. 

One Bright Corner: Man Courting

One Bright Corner: Man Courting: Photo Credit There’s an old Ma and Pa Kettle episode of which I have memories as grainy as the video was. But the hilariousness stuck ...

A song to pick me up when things get rough.

You took everything, you took the very thing that I thought I was

Beat me up, you put me down and let me know I never had the balls at all

I'm down in the dumps, they're cheering hip hip hooray

Got you riding their shoulders you're the king for a day

Shake my hand and watch your back 'cause I'll be sharpening my new claws

I'm a calculated killer, prepared to wait around till you fall

You took everything, you took the very thing that I thought I was

But this won't be the death of me

Fight if you want a fight, fight if you want, it's all good

I'll lose there's a chance I'll lose, I'll lose there's a chance, it's all good

Shine it's your time to shine, shine it's your time, it's all good

Know I'll be coming back, know that I'll come, it's all good

Don Broco - I'm good

You are the light in this dark dark world, 

so hold me close for i am yours,

forevermore, I am yours.

We don't necessarily have to pray, for God to hear our cries.

Some people pray more emotionally with much compassion and tears, some are much more warrior like and militant with their prayers; others still are very quiet and reflective communicating with God in apparent silence - Rachel Hickson (Super natural communication

For the first time since REAL I have managed to sit down with Supernatural communication by Rachel Hickson properly and dive into the world of prayer, and this little section really spoke to me.  There have been countless times where I've been crying out to God for help and seen no apparent answers. Then one day something emotionally devastating will cross my path and I find myself just crying, with no words coming out of my mouth, just sat there in tears, and within the next week something spectacular will happen and my life will start to make sense. God has answered my unspoken prayers. How crazy is that?! There are times when I'm at Church and I see people on their knees with tears streaming down their face, praying, hoping and crying for a way out of their troubles.  I found from personal experience that praying empty prayers isn't going to reach God's ears, because he knows you don't mean them. But prayers from the heart are the ones God will answer. 

"Simple prayers from a hungry heart will reach the heart of God" - Rachel Hickson.

When my parents split up I was nowhere near considering going to Church. Things were going wrong and I often found myself crying, and then suddenly a friend asks me to join LIFE, then I get invited to Church, and now I'm so intrigued by my Christian journey that I'm hungry for more. I don't recall praying to God to help me get out of my emotional exhaustion, but he did it anyway, because he heard the cries that my heart couldn't put into words. 

This doesn't however, mean I'm saying you should stop praying, there is no wrong way about doing "prayer" what I am saying, is if you want to pray, but you have no idea what to say, let your heart speak, let the words come truthfully from your heart.  

Acceptance of where I am with God.

This is me. 

No make - up, hair over fluffy, in my streetfight silence band t-shirt and spotty tights & stripey knee high socks. I am a girl who doesn't know the meaning of the word relax and has a billion dreams and ideas floating through her head but has no idea how to put them in to stone. I am a girl who constantly runs back and forth between what is right and what is wrong, though i do regret the wrong things after. 

Love. . 

• The idea of cute walks in the park
• Taking photographs
• My Church
• Time with my family
• Driving
• The cold side of a pillow
• A great book

Dislike. .

• Not knowing a situation or what you've done wrong to hurt someone
• When things go wrong that are out of your hands
• Not being able to relax
• Taking things way to seriously and not having control of my emotions
• Feeling far away from God.

I know everyone reading this is probably thinking, what on earth is she telling us this for? I've found that the only way to be happy, is to be true to yourself. Recognize the things that are dragging you down, and work to correct them. I find I'm not happy with anything unless I'm happy with myself. As selfish as that is, I  believe you can't be happy unless you're happy with yourself. It's also a way of knowing where you stand as a Christian and is a great way of being true to not only yourself with God. 

This is currently where I'm at with myself. I'm happy, but there a things that can be worked on. I'm happy with the way I look, with my body, with most of my relationships. 

I wrote this as a challenge to those reading to say, who are you? What are you proud of? What are you ashamed of? Where are you in your life? & most importantly are you happy? 

This is me. Sian. I am finally content. I am happy.

Pray.

Pray for London, Bristol, Liverpool & Birmingham

Pray for the families

Pray for peace

and don't stop praying.

God shows up at the most unexpected times.

. . So this isn't entirely true, God decided to speak to me last night at Church, but it's what he spoke to me about that was unexpected. Sola & Charlie was speaking on how much God loves us. With Church we all get told multiple times about how God's love is greater than anything else, is greater than anything that us as a person could never feel or understand, but I'm not going to babble on about that.


As a young person volunteering at a youth group, (and being a young person anyway) I see and hear of lots of people talking about how they want to be in a relationship. How they want someone to love, someone to hold their hands when things get tough. Someone to turn to, someone who understands them, someone who loves them no matter what happens and who will never break their heart. Now I think we all know where this is heading, but it may not be in a physical way, we might not be able to see it, but God is constantly holding our hands through the rough times. God understands us because he created us. God will never leave our side or break any promises. God will forever be there to listen to our troubles, even though it's the same thing he's heard a million times over. 


See what we seek for in a human relationship, we already have with God, and so many people [including myself] forgets this. We forget that what we spend half our lives searching for, is there right infront of us. It was always there but we're too blind to see that. I'm not saying that we shouldn't have a relationship all together, because there is a person out there for everybody, however when we're all alone in our rooms wishing and praying that we have someone to hold, remember that God is there holding on to you as tightly as he can.

Quote from the charity page "To Write Love On Her Arms

‎"We need never be hopeless because we can never be irreparably broken." – John Green

Would like to be able to go through one day without something happening that upsets me without hesitation.

I'd like to be able express my emotions without people judging and complaining that I'm being hormonal, or depressing, or attention seeking. 

I can't help how I feel, and I can't help that this whole process is taking longer than I'd like, but the fact people are constantly rubbing things in my face doesn't help.

I want to go back to me. I want to go back to the girl I was a year ago. But I guess that will never happen. 

Growing up is scary

How has LIFE changed my life.

So last night at the summer formal we were asked how LIFE has changed our lives. I figured that standing up infront of everyone wouldn't have been enough time to say how it has.

So. For starters life has made me a much more confident person, I went from a place of constant negative thoughts towards myself to a place where I can be myself and be confident about who I am. Secondly LIFE introduced me God and Christianity, something that has completely saved my life and stopped me from doing incredibly stupid things that I would do if I never thought of Church. Thirdly LIFE has introduced me to some incredible people that I wouldn't give up for the world. 

Lastly LIFE has enabled me to see that every person who walks through the doors on a Friday night is different. Everyone is their own unique person with their own background trying to find a way through it. Whether they be a Christian, or an Atheist or someone who doesn't know what to believe, they walk through the door at the end of a long week, for the start of an incredible weekend. 

Life. Living.In.Freedom.Everyday. 

My sister gives me faith in the world

Negativity.

There is a lot of negativity going on at the moment. All I keep seeing on facebook is how horrible peoples lives seem to be just because they're having a few "down days" whining and complaining because one thing isn't going your way. Although I can be the same at times I very rarely publicly post it to the world just so everyone cares. Truth is people rarely care when things are going badly for you, they see it as attention seeking and an excuse to gossip. 

We need to learn and this is more words to myself as well that although one thing might not be going your way. That guy might not like you back, you may be tired because you chose to have late nights, there are so many incredible things that are good in your life. You have a computer so you can keep in contact with your friends, you have a house and food provided for you. You have a family & friends that love you. You have a phone and so many other luxuries that are something to be happy about. It may sound cliche, but when you're sat complaining that the world is against you, it's not. You are the one that's against the world.  

LIFE: Prayer for Life on Tour

LIFE: Prayer for Life on Tour: "Well the time has finally come! Life on tour starts tonight and I don't think it's a longshot to say that almost everyone in the South East ..."

This. 

Overwhelming Case Of Responsibilty

The past 2 weeks I've been fending for myself at home whilst my mothers been away. In this time I've had several letters from the church concerning my job, booking in dates to work, trying to work out how much I'll be paid over the months and working out how many driving lessons I can squeeze in. On top of that I start my first training session for work. I was also asked today about going on my first non-family holiday to Spain which I will also have to pay for. All these financial based moments have made me realise that I'm starting to grow up. I'm suddenly starting to keep in contact with my family with particular situations, trying to organize other situations as well. 

I've always been the kind of person that tries to take each day as it comes, now I've got to start thinking of things for the future, I've got to starting growing up and taking control of my life. It's a weird feeling for me to grasp. 

In March a photo from the second gig I'd ever shot was published in Guitar Magazine. It's only a small caption and I've only just got around to loading it onto the internet, but it's a small achievement.

Baptisms always remind me of this. . . .

I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way

Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole

I've come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your hand,

Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole!

I tried so hard! So hard!
I tried so hard!

Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
So you can make me whole


Pieces - Red

Reflections on REAL

This weekend I was lucky enough to attend REAL 2011. It was my first ever full Christian conference and I was incredibly unsure about what to expect. Once getting there I was amazed by all the effort the team had made to make the Church all feminine and wonderful, from the writing on the toilet mirrors to the lovely young men in suits greeting the ladies at 8:30 in the morning. Rachel Hickson  opened for us and gave an incredible speech about closing doors on both good and horrible memories. Catrina spoke to us about transforming moments and how we need to get out of the habit of jumping to the worse conclusions and Liz spoke to us about tough moments and how God is with us throughout them. All 3 speakers bought something different to the conference and all had inspiring words that I'm looking forward to looking back on in the future.

There was also other little moments, such as hearing a large room of woman worshipping, me and Beth Rutland trying to "sign" the worship lyrics which bought even more emotion to the worship. It was also very lovely to see both Dave and Anna Hulme on stage playing keys together. Then there was our senior pastor Simon Benham singing amazing by Bruno Mars to his wife Catrina which yet again set a whole new mood to the day. Overall the REAL was an incredible experience for so many different reasons. I definatly can't wait for next years.

psalm 5:7-10

⁷ Because of your unfailing love, I can enter your house;
      I will worship at your Temple with deepest awe.
 ⁸ Lead me in the right path, O Lord,
      or my enemies will conquer me.
   Make your way plain for me to follow.
 ⁹ My enemies cannot speak a truthful word.
      Their deepest desire is to destroy others.
   Their talk is foul, like the stench from an open grave.
      Their tongues are filled with flattery.^[a]
 10 O God, declare them guilty.
      Let them be caught in their own traps.
   Drive them away because of their many sins,
      for they have rebelled against you.

Night time reflections.

Last night in the comfort of my own sofa I was reflecting on the last time I had a decent night sleep. Truth be told I actually can't remember and I started to contemplate why. Then I asked the question, when was the last time I went to bed with my head clear? Again I can't remember. The next question was, when was the last time I went to bed and the last thing I think of is God. The answer is never. I've realised that I've spent so much time focusing on other people and other things around me, and not on the big picture. So last night when I tried to keep cool in my hideously warm bedroom I chatted to God and that is the last thing I remember. Talking to God, telling him my thoughts, praying for those in my life, praying that people would be saved etc. Although I didn't sleep great, It was a refreshing feeling knowing that I had fallen asleep with all of my troubles off of my chest and it was all in Gods hands. 

Keeping my mouth shut is getting harder.

Anger isn't pretty. I've been feeling a LOT of it lately. It's always difficult when you realise that you never meant anything to those you considered your closest friends. Among all the other mini dramas that keep appearing every otherday. I know it's all apart of growing up and learning and becoming a stronger person with more insight and maturity etc but it's very difficult to cope with. If things happened in small doses it'd be easier, but all at once is just unbearable.  Although I'm having a difficult time right now but I know God is with me. I know I've got loyal family members and friends around me. 

Colour.

(This is very much inspired by Dave Betts take on glass buckets, click here to check it out)

I've been thinking a lot lately about colour. Seeing as I'm studying photography and partly art colour is a major contributor to what type of mood your trying to reflect. For example cool colours such as blues and purples represent coldness, or calm, often sadness. Then there are warmer colours such as yellows and oranges and reds that represents excitment, a lighter mood but sometimes danger. 

I've also been thinking (For an upcoming photoshoot) on complimentary colours. Red & green, yellow & purple, orange & blue or even black and white. With warm vibrancy and amazing happiness also comes the calm collected or sad moods. It reminded me somewhat of Religion and my relationship with God. Yellow and purple reminds me of when great things happen and I'm incredibly happy but his provided the contentment thats allowed the yellow to burst through.  Then other times it can be full of anger towards God for things that aren't his fault at all, so the relationship is red, but then there is the calm green neutral feeling that he surrounds me with to help me see sense and remain as calm as possible, allowing the red to be less dangerous and over powering.

So although artists look at the complimentary colours to use in their art, or we look at colours that go well with our outfit, we should really be thinking of the complimentary colour that God has provided in your current situation. 

He saved

Hate pages? Really.

So, casually scrolling through facebook and I see a friend write a comment about a hate page about someone that was made about his friend. I don't even know this girl but it really got my knickers in a twist. I mean, how low can a person go to actually create a hate page about this girl? 

I don't understand why it's relevant. You may not like a person, but it doesn't mean you have to
1) Publicly embarrass the person to the world.
2) Make a comment about that person in general

It just goes to show how immature people are. Its things like this which really make me as what on earth is wrong with people? How far will a person go to make another human being feel so isolated and humiliated that they don't know where to go? 

I'm aware this isn't a long post but I just felt something needed to be said. It's pathetic and wrong. I just ask those reading to send your prayers to those who suffer this kind of bullying. It's completely wrong and unfortunately it's difficult to stop. 

Insecurities.

This week I've been dog sitting for my cousin, which includes living on my own for a week. It's given me a lot of time to chat to God and reflect on my relationship with him. I was thinking about the latest next step meetings where we spoke about queries we have in our relationship with God. A subject that came up was Insecurities. 

Insecurity and self conciousness is something that everybody Christian or non-christian deals goes through. Be it through your height, weight, eye colour, hair colour, the clothes you wear, how you act around others. I think it's something that only an individual can sort out. Only the person can feel comfortable in their own skin. It really angers me when people compare themselves to people on the tv in magazines, complaining that they don't look the same. There are things that we can do to stop ourselves feeling uncomfortable in ourselves. 

We need to remember that the longer we spend looking in the mirror and hating what we see is time that we can't get back. If you think your fat when actually your a size 8, then thats just a perception of how you see yourself. If you feel that your personality is abit eccentric, thats a part of who you are, you shouldn't have to change to see others, but thats moving onto a different topic. 

What I'm trying to say is insecurity is a horrible thing to have. Everyone suffers from it, but remember there are people out there that love you excactly how you are. So whenever you feel down about yourself, think of one person that loves you for exactly that. Remember that your height is something that you've been given so use it to your advantage, find your talents and remember that feeling insecure is wasting time you'll never get back. It wont be easy, but it is sure better than worrying.

Creation. Good or Bad?

At college I'm quite open about my Religion. Everyone knows I'm a Christian and on the odd occasion someone will ask me a question or we'll have a big conversation. 

This week Emily asked me "Sian do you think God made Cocaine?"

Firstly I was like, well no! Of course not my God would never create something so illegal and dangerous! Then I paused for a second and realised, actually God did create Cocaine, but when he originally made it, he didn't make it for people to abuse. He created with good intentions. Then along came man, who then started taking up the plants and he come how realised that it makes you high etc. 

Creation is always a touchy subject. Did God create the world in 6 days with a day of rest or was the world created by a big bang and we're all here by accident? However the point of this is for people who do have those questions. God only made things for good. It's the nature of humans that have created bad. I don't believe drugs where created for a negative reason but we as people abuse them.

I'm not entirely sure where this post was going, but I guess I just needed to let it out.

This is the precise reason why I love art

Guess the films.