Social Networking Sites Have Lost Their Meaning.

Everyone these days are obsessed with social networking sites - including myself. So much so that people are buying mobile phones with internet purely so they can check their facebook/ tumblr when they get bored. It seems to me that people are forgetting how to communicate face-to-face and are doing it all over text/facebook. What I have found though, is that these kind of sites the meaning of what they were intended.


Facebook was made to be a site where you can catch up with friends, find out whats going in their lives and being able to speak to friends who have moved all over the world. 
Now facebook is full of bitchy status's. It's full of arguments and immaturity and ridiculous "pages" about scenarios that aren't likely to happen. The only good thing facebook is for, is for chatting to people on facebook chat when needed, and to find out when its somebodies birthday. Apart from that it's all gossip. It's all negativity and hatred. 


Tumblr was made to be a site where aritsts, writers, musicians, photographers can show off their talent. Where they can follow other artists, photographers etc and get inspiration.
Now Tumblr is a place where silly teenagers reblog pointless things. They hate on movies and hate on newer people coming onto tumblr from facebook. That's not what its about. 


Twitter is a place to stalk celebrities. Simple. 


What I'm trying to say is people on these main social networking sites are getting far far too obsessed with it. Its probably a stupid subject to rant about, but when we were all younger we weren't on these kind of sites. We where out playing on the green outside. We would actually have a conversation with people. We'd be up all night at each others houses talking. Now we're sat up all night on our computers talking to each other. People hide behind the computer. People are too afraid to say how they really feel to people to face but will gladly have a go at each other over facebook or tumblr. I'm not saying I'm perfect I've done it before now, however it's not right at all. We're not called to be on a computer all the time. 


I've thought of a new social network for kids, it's called outside. 

A beautiful Phrase

love, of course, keeps no record of wrongs.  

Another beautiful phrase. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Yes this does mean the "G" word will come up, this sums up Gods love for us. This sums up why Jesus died for us. He died for all our wrongs and yet he still LOVES us. He still heals us, he is still there to lead us on the right path he is still there to lead us out of the dark and into the light. I've found myself getting real angry lately. There's alot of things going on in my life that I wish wasn't. I find my saying harsh things that I know I shouldn't. But you know what it doesn't matter. Because LOVE overcomes that. Love keeps no record of wrongs. If you really love someone, don't throw the past in there face. It isn't worth it. I'm struggling to live by that right now. It's difficult but I'm getting there. 

If something goes wrong keep that phrase on your heart. It'll eventually prove to be one of the greatest things to live by. 

A wonderful Quote

"Be yourself, everyone else is taken"

What a wonderful saying. What a wonderful quote to live by. Be yourself. Be proud of who you are. There's a reason you are the person you are now and thats because God made you how you are. If your going through tough situations in your life, God might not have put them there himself but your in the deep end and God's going to get you through to become a stronger person than you could ever be. 

Be confident in who you are. If your a chatty person use it your advantage. To meet new people and encourage them to be proud of themselves. I see a lot that young people have no confidence. I'm fat I'm ugly I'm dumb I'm not good enough. All of the things that a person thinks about themselves. No one is any of that. People just don't have the confidence to believe that the potential to be who they really are. 

Natalie Jones gave an amazing speech to the young folks at life based on "taking off the mask" and being who you really are. The bible says to have confidence in the Lord. The bible says that he can see through the smoke screen. God made us how we are so why change who we are to please others? Why doubt yourself when God has no doubts that you are perfect? 

I'm just babbling a long now so I want to leave you with the thought that Natalie left us with on Friday. Are you wearing a mask? Are you trying to be someone else? 

Time for action

• I'm going to stop feeling paranoid
• I'm going to deal with the situations screwing with my head
• I'm determined to be a better friend to people
• I'm going to grow in my faith
• I'm going to overcome the stress I'm under

Just watch me

Jumping To Conclusions

I've noticed sometimes people (Including Myself) jump to conclusions so much. If someone is usually an incredibly happy, loud and vibrant, one day that person is quieter then usual automatically everyone assumes somethings wrong. If someones on the streets usually people are like "it's their fault they're on the streets" If someone puts a thoughtful lyric or "hmmmmm" suddenly they're all upset. Maybe said person is just thoughtful. An overweight person eats too much, maybe they're big boned. 


We're all culprits of making a judgement at first glance and jumping to conclusions. What we don't look for is what beneath the words. If someone is smiling clearly they're happy. Sometimes people don't realise that behind the smile there are piles of pain begging for someone to notice. Although at times it's best not to intrude in someones personal life, other occasions a person is pleading for someone to notice that something is wrong. There are times where I'm having a conversation with someone they'll say "yeah I'm Ok" but their body language and their eyes tell a different story. It doesn't take much to ask a person if everything is really and if they say they'd rather not talk about it then fair enough. 


People these days find it very difficult to open up, I've written quite a bit before about how we should open up, but sometimes we need to let someone know that we are there to take their mind off things. Whether its by just talking about something unrelated and making them feel comfortable around you. Or if it's talking to them about their problem, we can't always just jump to the conclusion that someone is Ok when they are clearly not. We're so obsessed with our own lives and just saying "it's nothing, they're just attention seeking" we forget that other people could be so close to the edge. It doesn't take much to ask "Are you really Ok?"

Fear Of The Unknown

Some time last year Lee Layton Matthews preached about "diving in to the unknown" It's one of my favourite preaches that has stuck in my mind for a very long time. See as a person I get scared of new things. Scared of change. I get scared of whats going to happen in the future because it's something different to what I'm used to. I often wonder about what would've happened if I made different choices. Where would I be now etc. What if I took an easier option? I know what would've happened, I wouldn't have become the person I am today. I would never be a Christian, I would never have started volunteering. I would be taking A-Levels and probably stressing out more than I am now. 


See as young people when things change we don't like it. We can't see the end and how things are going to turn out so we panic. We try every possible thing to prevent this "thing" from happening. Say a friendship is falling apart and your fighting to keep it alive, because your scared of how your life is going to be without them there to support you (I'm not saying to not fight for a friendship btw!). Whether a family member your close to is moving away and you don't know how your going to cope with this new distance. 


There are some people who will take new challenges face on, instead of dwelling on the unknown they take on these challenges and grow as people and grow in confidence. They learn from mistakes that they make on the journey and become people who can help others in a similar situation. Someone very close to me has been on a real journey. She's been in situations I could never begin to consider at her age, and I've seen her grow not only in confidence but in wisdom. This would never have happened if she dwelled on what could've been. Instead saying "What If" she found out what happens. 


Again I'm not entirely sure what the point is to this post. I guess I'm aiming this for people picking a-levels or deciding whether to go to Uni. Don't be afraid of what will happen. Learn from the mistakes you make on the way, and grow as a person. The "What If?" isn't important. Whats important is where you'll be at the end.

Comfort

Every person has an item from their childhood which they can't get rid of. Be it a teddy bear, a blanket, mine is a colouring book. Everyone will recognize straight away that this a jumbo colouring book that every child at some point owned in any part of their childhood. This was given to me as a child from my Nana Dot before she passed away. It was stored in the cupboard under the stairs with all the other old school toys me and my brother used to play with. 2 years ago I once again recieved this book from my cousin Jo who now lives in my Nana's house. There are pages with random splodges of colour from my attempts as a baby to colour. This is a book that is probably as old as I am, but the sheer thought of getting rid of this book horrifies me. Every time I go through my box of sentimental things this will always show and a sense of comfort just overwhelms me. At times when I'm in the worst mood possible I'll grab my colouring book and laugh at my attempts as a child to colour. There are the very rare occasions where I'll dig out some colouring pencils and colour in the odd page. 

The Life Of A Teenager Summed Up In A Matter Of Words

³² Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering. ³³ Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. ³⁴ You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. ³⁵ So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. ³⁶ You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. ³⁷ For, “In just a little while, 
he who is coming will come
and will not delay.”
³⁸ And,
“But my righteous one will live by faith.
And I take no pleasure
in the one who shrinks back.”
³⁹ But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.
- Hebrews Chapter 10 vs 32-39

Contemplation

Sometimes I wonder if anyone truly understands. When someone says “What’s wrong” and you shrug your shoulders and say nothing. I wonder if anyones really cares. When you spill out your true feelings and thought. I wonder if when you tell someone your troubles if they care, or if they pretend to care and then tell others how pathetic you seem because of that issue. They just wanted a reason to put you down. I wonder if anyone will ever understand what goes on in your mind. People constantly say “Oh I understand” and you instantly disagree because you think no-one could possibly know the pain that is on your heart at that present moment. That shrug “Nothing” could be the same “nothing” that a person shrugged off to you the other day, the other week. 

Although people say we’re all different, emotionally at one point we all experience the same kind of pain. I'm not saying that we feel that pain on the same level, but we have a similar understanding. I've written before about telling people what's going on, I'm not sure why I'm writing it again. I had a little cry with my Mumma earlier because of something that was said. Although I don't feel 100% better in that situation, I feel better knowing that I've voiced my opinions emotions and frustrations.

I guess it's also about asking people whats going. Obviously not bugging them, but encouraging them. Or taking someones mind of whats bugging them by talking about something completely opposite. It's also about understanding. I'm just babbling now. So I'll say bye for now

A Book In A Day.

Those who know me well enough will know that I'm lucky enough to have Mondays off. So this morning, my body alarm woke me up ridiculously early at 8 [not impressed!]. I got some art work done first thing in the morning so I had the afternoon free to do whatever. However. I then realised that it's a sunny day and I have nothing to do. Everyones at school or college. 

I decided to dig out a book from my cupboard and sat down and started to read. I haven't read so intensely in a while, and once I get started I find it very difficult to stop. Indelible - Karin Slaughter is a book that switches from past to present, in the life of 2 people who work in the police force & part of forensic investigation. Anyone who is a fan of Karin will know that she writes with incredible detail. I'm a massive fan of her crime writing. I was sat in my jammies, with the sun blazing through my windows just reading. The television was off, my phone was on silent, laptop was off there was nothing disturbing me. There was something very satisfying with sitting in silence with a good book listening to nature carry on around me. 

The rest of the family walked in, so the television was switched back on, it's very difficult to read in peace in the Oliver household! My sheer determination to make sense of what I was reading took over so I sat there ignoring the blur of the TV and continued to read and I'm pleased to say I read the book start to finish in a day - this is a VERY rare occurrence for me. 

There is something very calming about sitting in silence doing something to wind down. If it's doodling on paper, reading a book or going for a walk. I strongly advice you to just listen to the world outside of the four walls that surround us. You don't have to be sat on an extremely comfortable sofa to enjoy nature.

Scared of the world outside we should go explore - John Mayer

A good week & summer

This week has been pretty fantastic.Tuesday I was lucky enough to go to Camden with the college, then came home to lots of pancakes at my Cousin Jo's house.  Wednesday I got to see someone I haven't seen since September which was lovely. Today I get to see my cousin Hayley whose studying at uni, so seeing her is incredibly rare. I also found out yesterday a really close friend from Australia is coming home for a few weeks so I get to see her very soon. I got a fair amount of college work done in my spare time and if I do say so myself managed to write a beautiful speech for my Life Group which is happening on Wednesday. 

Not only have all these little happenings occured it's also been incredibly sunny around Bracknell. My facebook news feed has been clogged up with many status's about summer. Summer is just around the corner and everyones buzzing. The late nights and wearing very little clothing to absorb the sun we rarely get is around the corner. Personally I'm buzzing for summer. Not only will I get an extra long summer again this year, but I'll also get the chance to go to Rocknations. Spend time with people I don't get to see often because of our busy schedules. Needless to say I'm lucky that I'm blessed with these occurrences. 

The Prospect Of University.

Since I started college all I seem to be hearing about is University. Why I should go, that I should go to all the meetings about university that I should be looking for loads of open days. Looking at the best one. What course am I going to take? 

Not going to lie, I'm freaking out. Do I ACTUALLY want to go to Uni. I know (for now) what I would prefer my future career to be, but what area of that career. Do I want to be a photojournalist or a wedding photographer? Do I want to work in editorial or portrait? There are constantly more and more questions being asked. Where do I want to go? Somewhere closer to home so I can see my family, but it not be the exact course, or Somewhere a lot further from home, but a course that I'd be interested in? Will I enjoy university. 

It's like being back in year 11 deciding what to do for A-Levels, apart from this on a much much bigger scale. It probably sounds stupid, but I'm stuck. I have no idea what to do, where to go.

help. 

A Mental Block & A Weird Sense Of Humour

For quite a while I've been having a mental block. Coming up with ideas for final pieces or evening my speeches for my Life Group has proven difficult in the past. I found myself asking God to just help me. Help me come up with the ideas, but those ideas never came. So I was like, right Ok, I'm just going to have to troll the internet for some kind of inspiration. Still nothing stuck in my head. 

Today however walking the last 5/10 minutes of my Journey home, I had some beautiful music playing in my ears, and suddenly my head started overflowing with different ideas for a college unit. This particular unit I've struggled with since I started so now I'm just buzzing. My brain was picturing how it would look, how I could re-use previous final pieces and change it into something completely different. The final pieces are on Christianity so was definatly thanking God there!

I guess it just goes to show that God has the most bizarre sense of humour, however he  is always there answering my prayers, in the most unexpected time, in the most unexpected way.

It's getting kind of hard to take it slow, when I am up all night, thinking about you... - Broadway.

Change.

Change. Is a terrifying thing. Change is something that none of us want to face.

 Today I was having a soak in the tub when I realised I've been in my current home for 2 years. I remember when I first got told I was being forced to move house. I cried my heart out. I didn't want to leave my home. I was happy there. SO many memories, some good some bad. Truth be told I was just stroppy because I was leaving my comfort zone.  Then I remembered when my Dad left my Mum. I was terrified of what was going to happen. How things would change financially, would I still see my Dad? Of course there are a lot more emotions that come with a split, but again I remember being terrified because it was a situation I was unsure of. I was scared of. It was so alien. 

I've come to realise that change is what holds people back. We're scared of failing and making a fool of ourselves. We're terrified of what awaits us on the other side. It will always be hard to take that plunge. Though, think about it for a minute. How do you know that if you don't take that chance things will get better? How do you know that when you take that chance you'll find yourself in a better situation than before. After all these challenges I faced things got so much better. 

I'm challenging you to take the chance and face challenges your scared of. You never know what will happen.

Scared of the world outside we should go explore - John Mayer

Prayer Storm

I know this has been all over facebook. However last night at Life a man called James from Manchester came to speak the people of Life about Prayer. This man was truly an inspirational man. I saw people be saved and I saw peoples lives changed, inspired. It was such a moving evening.

It wasn't just the meeting in whole which was something quite alien to me. The emotion in my body was so overpowering it was like my first time ever walking into Church. I was in tears my body was shaking I just felt myself repeating Jesus over and over again. I found myself crying out to God. 

I felt myself wanting to tell anyone that would listen that we are a community that are going to change people. We're going to make a change in this world. We're already raising incredible amounts of money for Project 125. We've made a change in Serenje, why not in Bracknell? Why not change the reputation of the young people. Why not? Why not become a community of a thousand?

Confession

Yesterday was amazing. The sun was out it was warm, for a while, and I all round had a pretty good day. Later in the evening the sun went away & it just seems a coincidence that things went downhill from there. Heard something from Mumma that got my blood boiling and other things. I woke up this morning to realise I may have hurt someone stupidly close to me, and I'm incredibly sorry about that. I had some weird epiphany which has had me crying out to God to help me. 


It's one of those situations where I need to deal with today's burden as soon as possible before they start clouding my thoughts and my mind, which they are slowly doing now. I've realised that I get too angry too quickly. Specially when it comes to things surrounding my family. I'm scared of change and it's happening so fast I don't quite know what to do. I'm hurting those around me, I'm pushing people away. I'm a hormonal mess and I have no idea what to do.  I don't quite know why I'm writing this again I guess I just need to get it off my chest. Tomorrow at Church is prayer storm and I know for a fact I'll end up a curled up emotional wreck on the floor with mascara ending up half way down my cheeks. I'm scared of all this change and I'm scared of who I'm becoming. 


I know in the long run I'll come out of this a stronger person, but I can't wait. 

Luke 11:33-36

 “No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, so that those who come in may see the light. Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body also is full of darkness. See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness. Therefore, if your whole body is full of light, and no part of it dark, it will be just as full of light as when a lamp shines its light on you.”

x

John 1:5

Photo: Tasha Louise Holloway

Lately I've been starting to get that whole "I don't feel as close to my faith as I was before" and the other day at next steps a question was asked " What's your favourite bible verse" I started thinking and it had to be John 1 vs 5 which you can see in the image above. 

The verse is basically the definition of what it meant personally to become a Christian. I was in such a dark place before I came to church. Everything was consistently bottled up to the point where my heart and my head couldn't take much more. Once coming to church I found all those burdens were easier to handle. Small things like "what's going to happen in the future" suddenly doesn't seem so terrifying knowing that I have God by my side guiding me. 

I know that when I'm faced with a life changing dilemma the way won't be so dark because the light will always shine on the right way. 

I know that in my heart I will always be guided by the light. I also am aware that realistically things are going to get darker. But things will never get pitch black to the point where I can't see and my decisions and thoughts are blinded. The light will never leave. The darkness of my past will never truly rule my life like it did before. 

I'm not entirely sure the purpose of this post. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the light never leaves. There is always hope. There is always an answer to what ever burden is currently ruling your life. Look for it, and once you've found it there's no going back. 

I'm bending over backwards just so I can see you clearer, but my breath clogged up the glass, so I drew a little face and I laughed