Yesterday was amazing. The sun was out it was warm, for a while, and I all round had a pretty good day. Later in the evening the sun went away & it just seems a coincidence that things went downhill from there. Heard something from Mumma that got my blood boiling and other things. I woke up this morning to realise I may have hurt someone stupidly close to me, and I'm incredibly sorry about that. I had some weird epiphany which has had me crying out to God to help me.
It's one of those situations where I need to deal with today's burden as soon as possible before they start clouding my thoughts and my mind, which they are slowly doing now. I've realised that I get too angry too quickly. Specially when it comes to things surrounding my family. I'm scared of change and it's happening so fast I don't quite know what to do. I'm hurting those around me, I'm pushing people away. I'm a hormonal mess and I have no idea what to do. I don't quite know why I'm writing this again I guess I just need to get it off my chest. Tomorrow at Church is prayer storm and I know for a fact I'll end up a curled up emotional wreck on the floor with mascara ending up half way down my cheeks. I'm scared of all this change and I'm scared of who I'm becoming.
I know in the long run I'll come out of this a stronger person, but I can't wait.
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