You are the light in this dark dark world, 

so hold me close for i am yours,

forevermore, I am yours.

We don't necessarily have to pray, for God to hear our cries.

Some people pray more emotionally with much compassion and tears, some are much more warrior like and militant with their prayers; others still are very quiet and reflective communicating with God in apparent silence - Rachel Hickson (Super natural communication

For the first time since REAL I have managed to sit down with Supernatural communication by Rachel Hickson properly and dive into the world of prayer, and this little section really spoke to me.  There have been countless times where I've been crying out to God for help and seen no apparent answers. Then one day something emotionally devastating will cross my path and I find myself just crying, with no words coming out of my mouth, just sat there in tears, and within the next week something spectacular will happen and my life will start to make sense. God has answered my unspoken prayers. How crazy is that?! There are times when I'm at Church and I see people on their knees with tears streaming down their face, praying, hoping and crying for a way out of their troubles.  I found from personal experience that praying empty prayers isn't going to reach God's ears, because he knows you don't mean them. But prayers from the heart are the ones God will answer. 

"Simple prayers from a hungry heart will reach the heart of God" - Rachel Hickson.

When my parents split up I was nowhere near considering going to Church. Things were going wrong and I often found myself crying, and then suddenly a friend asks me to join LIFE, then I get invited to Church, and now I'm so intrigued by my Christian journey that I'm hungry for more. I don't recall praying to God to help me get out of my emotional exhaustion, but he did it anyway, because he heard the cries that my heart couldn't put into words. 

This doesn't however, mean I'm saying you should stop praying, there is no wrong way about doing "prayer" what I am saying, is if you want to pray, but you have no idea what to say, let your heart speak, let the words come truthfully from your heart.  

Acceptance of where I am with God.

This is me. 

No make - up, hair over fluffy, in my streetfight silence band t-shirt and spotty tights & stripey knee high socks. I am a girl who doesn't know the meaning of the word relax and has a billion dreams and ideas floating through her head but has no idea how to put them in to stone. I am a girl who constantly runs back and forth between what is right and what is wrong, though i do regret the wrong things after. 

Love. . 

• The idea of cute walks in the park
• Taking photographs
• My Church
• Time with my family
• Driving
• The cold side of a pillow
• A great book

Dislike. .

• Not knowing a situation or what you've done wrong to hurt someone
• When things go wrong that are out of your hands
• Not being able to relax
• Taking things way to seriously and not having control of my emotions
• Feeling far away from God.

I know everyone reading this is probably thinking, what on earth is she telling us this for? I've found that the only way to be happy, is to be true to yourself. Recognize the things that are dragging you down, and work to correct them. I find I'm not happy with anything unless I'm happy with myself. As selfish as that is, I  believe you can't be happy unless you're happy with yourself. It's also a way of knowing where you stand as a Christian and is a great way of being true to not only yourself with God. 

This is currently where I'm at with myself. I'm happy, but there a things that can be worked on. I'm happy with the way I look, with my body, with most of my relationships. 

I wrote this as a challenge to those reading to say, who are you? What are you proud of? What are you ashamed of? Where are you in your life? & most importantly are you happy? 

This is me. Sian. I am finally content. I am happy.

Pray.

Pray for London, Bristol, Liverpool & Birmingham

Pray for the families

Pray for peace

and don't stop praying.

God shows up at the most unexpected times.

. . So this isn't entirely true, God decided to speak to me last night at Church, but it's what he spoke to me about that was unexpected. Sola & Charlie was speaking on how much God loves us. With Church we all get told multiple times about how God's love is greater than anything else, is greater than anything that us as a person could never feel or understand, but I'm not going to babble on about that.


As a young person volunteering at a youth group, (and being a young person anyway) I see and hear of lots of people talking about how they want to be in a relationship. How they want someone to love, someone to hold their hands when things get tough. Someone to turn to, someone who understands them, someone who loves them no matter what happens and who will never break their heart. Now I think we all know where this is heading, but it may not be in a physical way, we might not be able to see it, but God is constantly holding our hands through the rough times. God understands us because he created us. God will never leave our side or break any promises. God will forever be there to listen to our troubles, even though it's the same thing he's heard a million times over. 


See what we seek for in a human relationship, we already have with God, and so many people [including myself] forgets this. We forget that what we spend half our lives searching for, is there right infront of us. It was always there but we're too blind to see that. I'm not saying that we shouldn't have a relationship all together, because there is a person out there for everybody, however when we're all alone in our rooms wishing and praying that we have someone to hold, remember that God is there holding on to you as tightly as he can.

Quote from the charity page "To Write Love On Her Arms

‎"We need never be hopeless because we can never be irreparably broken." – John Green

Would like to be able to go through one day without something happening that upsets me without hesitation.

I'd like to be able express my emotions without people judging and complaining that I'm being hormonal, or depressing, or attention seeking. 

I can't help how I feel, and I can't help that this whole process is taking longer than I'd like, but the fact people are constantly rubbing things in my face doesn't help.

I want to go back to me. I want to go back to the girl I was a year ago. But I guess that will never happen. 

Growing up is scary