So like I previously posted this afternoon I was helping out at Next Steps, which was awesome! Discussing what it's like to be a Christian, discussing prayer in the bible with a group of friends never fails to cheer me up.
But that wasn't what I wanted to talk about. There are always times when I can walk into Church perfectly happy, I'll sit down, start thinking then like a slap in the face a realisation that something I have done which was right at the time was a really wrong decision. Then I have a massive heart to heart with my best friend, which nearly put me in tears. Then to make my emotional state of mind worse, everything that the young people were talking about seemed too relevant. As if they had been watching me through a microscope observing my every move and then preaching about it or discussing that situation. At Next Steps through the Q&A situation that happened.
Clearly they weren't observing me through a microscope as that's just silly. But it's happened on more than one occasion at the sermons and it never fails to freak me out. I've realised so much about myself within the space of an hour. So much is going on right now, so much that needs to be sorted, so much that I still need to learn about myself. It's scary how, just one sentence changes your view on yourself. You think you know yourself thoroughly because, you know, it's you surely no-one knows you better than yourself. I always had that mindset. Today I was proven wrong. I don't know everything myself and to be quite honest I'm glad I realised this stuff through God. God is there to show you your true colours. God is there to lead you on the right path. Not the path you want, what HE wants.
Today, I realised part of me isn't doing what he wants. And that needs to change.
Sian xox
There's nowhere to go, but up from here - The same thing we do everyday, Broadway ft Craig Owens
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